Still waiting for that perfect manager?

When I was much younger I spent a lot of time complaining about the company I was in, the project I worked on, the team I was stuck with and the manager I reported to.

“Why can I meet that perfect manager who shows me the way, gives me the opportunity, rewards me when I am doing well, warns me when I am off rail, forgives me when I make mistakes, leaves me alone so I can work independently but alway be there when I need help …”

As I grew older I realized I wasn’t hoping for a perfect manager, in my deep psyche I was probably hope for the perfect parents, a savior of some sort.

Don’t we all? Isn’t this why super hero movies are so popular? Don’t we all want to be saved, taken care of? Or when we don’t get the satisfaction, we secretly wish we acquire an unnatural super hero power accidentally to save the world?

The sad reality I learned as part of growing up is to accept:

1. I am not perfect and will never be. I am as flawed as any other mortals.

2. The reality I am in is not perfect: life will never be 💯 fair. Things won’t go as I planned. Shit always happens when i don’t expect them.

3. The people I interact with are also not perfect. They are all beautiful and flawed in their own ways. And there are evils among us whose sole purpose is to inflict pains to whatever unlucky souls are close to them.

If I am not perfect, what gives me the right to hope for a perfect manager?

So instead of hoping for a perfect manager, or perfect anything, I realize we can learn from anyone and any situations, as long as we can keep a true growth mindset.

From the good ones, we learn the best practices and what to do; from the bad ones, we learn anti-patterns and things not to do. I had many good managers who helped me in different ways, but none of them were “perfect”. I learned different things from them at different time. I also had some bad managers who gave me real hard time, often because of my own bad choices. I also learned from them, maybe even more than from the good ones: how to handle tough situations, know how to negotiate my rights, know when is time to leave. There are so many ways to grow and learn: books, YouTube, online courses, our immediate situation is never the limitation, only our mind is.

I also realized life is not about happiness. Happiness is just a side effect that happens occasionally as we experience through life. Life is about rich and fulfilling experiences, good and bad are both part of our journey.

As Carl Jung said, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."

https://youtu.be/sxePuWBABKk